Lisbon to Denver: Home at last after a day from Hell

This last blog post from my around the world trip may piss off some readers.   Once again, I remind you that the opinions expressed in this personal blog, Perspectives of a Wandering Geographer, are my own and are not endorsed by any groups with which I am affiliated!


Bye, bye lovely Lisbon! TAP Flight 103 heads into the clouds over the Tejo River Estuary with the magnificent April 25^th Bridge directly below us.

Top: The “joys” of trans-Atlantic travel - cramped in a seat in coach for eight hours and a tasteless lunch.

Bottom: My last flight was the worst. Damn, it was great to finally arrive back in Denver! Basemaps from Google Maps (https://maps.google.com/)

 

12 October 2012 on United Flight 1139, Newark to Denver

I’m finally on the last leg of my ‘round-the-world in 92 days gig. Oh boy, is it torture. First of all, I just came off an 8 hour flight from Lisbon so I’m not exactly in the most chipper of moods. The Denver flight leaves 40 minutes late (the flight deck came on the speaker just after we pulled out from the gate and announced that we were #25 for take-off). After all, it’s Friday night and everyone and their dog probably wants to get the flock out of New York. Can you blame them? Then I’m stuck in a middle seat near the back of the plane. Serves me right for not remembering to check in on line from Lisbon this morning. Then, at the beginning of the flight I get pissed off because I can’t turn off the audio and video for the obnoxious little TV screen on the seat back in front of me. Thus, I’m bombarded from 15” away by United’s adverts until I rip the back off the in-flight magazine, fold a flap at one end, and stick the flap in the slot above the screen. That doesn’t get rid of the sound but at least I don’t have to look at the picture. I paid a couple hundred bucks for this seat and I find being forced to view advertisements as outrageous as the concept of watching ads on cable TV that you pay for. Kinda like double taxation.

Top:  Landing in Newark, I could see the new World Trade Center Tower in Manhattan (upper left corner of photo). Bottom: I crossed the Atlantic on this TAP Portugal jet.

It’s bad enough having to fly in steerage, but I despise middle seats. Now, I’ve developed an etiquette toward middle seat passengers over the years – whether I’m in the window seat (my usual preference for day flights) or on the aisle, I always let people in the middle seat have the arm rest. The poor bugger in the middle seat has it bad enough as it is. The least one can do to help relieve some of their claustrophobia is be charitable and give them a little extra space. The young woman in the window seat is doing a good job of following this little courtesy. Poor thing is doubled up over her tray table trying to get some sleep and mostly doesn’t move.

No such luck with the older woman on the aisle. She’s a bit on the large size and seems to be one of those friendly small town types who are oblivious to other peoples’ space. We exchanged comments about the plane leaving late earlier and she just had to touch me on the arm. Gawd, do I hate it when strangers deliberately touch me. So later, I was trying to do a cat nap and she kept moving her arm around frequently grazing my arm. Not a hard bump but just enough of a sensation to wake me from my cat nap. Believe me, I was giving her as much room as possible. I gave up the arm rest to her but she kept violating the air space on my side of the arm rest by an inch or two. I have narrow shoulders and I squeezed my arms as tightly into my body as possible and pushed myself over to the side next to the sleeping girl in the window seat and as close to her as possible without violating her air space. No avail. Then the fidgeting woman got one of those over-priced box lunches and proceeded to scarf it with noisy gusto while continuing to brush against me with her right arm every minute or two. I finally gave up on the cat nap. She’s finished her chow, is now reading a magazine, and continues to violate my space every time she turns a page. Thus, I’m writing this little essay in self-defense.

I mean, what do you say to someone like this? “Excuse me, but could you please stop violating my space.” I hate being rude. I hate hurting peoples’ feelings. I do my best to avoid confrontations. So usually I just suffer in silence. In this case, I drew back away from her and looked at her arm a couple times when I received unwanted contact hoping she would get the hint. But she’s fucking clueless. She’s probably from a big happy family where everyone hugs and touches their family and neighbors and she just couldn’t understand how someone could be so overly-sensitive, right? And now, she periodically does a big loud har-har-har-har laugh while chatting with her husband in the seat across the aisle from her. Guess it’s time to put the ear plugs back in. I took them out earlier after the screaming baby behind me apparently went to sleep. Another of my least-favored flight situations is to get stuck in the vicinity of a screaming, germ-spreading baby.

Hmmm, maybe I should have been more perceptive and offered to trade seats with the husband earlier so they could sit next to each other. I never come up with such creative solutions until it’s too late. However, I do such a good job ignoring people that I didn’t figure out they were together until a while after take-off. Oh well, only 2 more hours of this bullshit…assuming no more delays. Judy told me earlier by phone that there is some unsettled weather going on in Denver. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we got diverted to Colorado Springs or worse yet, Kansas City!

We certainly have hit our share of turbulence along the way– the fasten seat belt sign has been on for at least half the trip. Ride ‘em cowboy. Oh, so now there is an announcement that the captain wants people to return to their seats because of upcoming turbulence. And this hasn’t already been turbulence? Of course, my unwelcome neighbor gets up to go to the jon right after the announcement. Maybe she had her hearing aid turned off.

Next thing you know someone will barf and really enhance the atmosphere back here in the tail of this bouncing beast. At least the baby isn’t crying anymore and the annoying woman has quieted down a little. For small things I should be thankful – like Solzhenitsyn’s Gulag prisoner, Ivan Denisovitch, who figures he’s had a good day in prison when he scores some extra food at dinner.

Only an hour to go now. I can stand just about anything for an hour – even dental surgery.

That's all folks! Well, not exactly. Although this is the end of the story of my Around-the-World trip, I plan to continue to post stories. Look for a new one every few weeks. - Will